Will apologies to Chuck Norris....
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Russ Grimm pajamas.
Russ Grimm can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Russ Grimm will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Russ Grimm.
Russ Grimm doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
Russ Grimm is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
When Russ Grimm crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
Russ Grimm doesn't wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
Russ Grimm played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
They once was a Russ Grimm toilet paper. But it wouldn't take shit from anyone.